The Monkey Barrel

Archive for April, 2007

Wind back the clock ten years and find a twenty year old bride to be with stars in her eyes, anxiously awaiting her future with a man that defied all she’d ever dreamed. No fear, no nervousness trembled her frame and all she could think was how she was the luckiest girl alive. Fast forward to the remeniscent typer sitting comfortably in an overstuffed chair, with two silky lashed blessings sleeping in their rooms above, pondering how this journey has found me in such a statement of contentment. This road has not always been straight and it certainly has had it’s share of laughter and pain, but the two beautiful constants have been the love and grace of our Heavenly Father and the love and grace of my husband. I think the litmus test of a good marriage is the ability of each spouse to make each other better. I know that I could not even imagine being the woman writing to you without Fred in my life.
10 whole years. I could not have believed then, on that night full of anticipation of my future, of our future that these years would have been so tremendously blessed. I remember crawling into my childhood bed for the last time and looking around my old room that I would never sleep in again and while I felt some sorrow at the passing of an age, the joy of spending the rest of my days with the most amazing human being was so palpable I could barely sleep.
I walked down the aisle the next afternoon and into this wonderful life. I have never been so sure in my life as I was when we exchanged our vows. Never so confident, that for once in my life, I had made good decision, and one I knew that God was behind. We lit our unity candle and I felt in that hushed moment that God was presiding over our ceremony and sealing His approval on our covenant.
Tonight I can barely seem to wrap my head around the length of time. It seems as though he has always been a part of me. But I can remember the day clear as crystal that he walked through those gym doors and into my heart. I cannot imagine what the next decade will hold for us, but if the last ten are any glimpse of our future then it’s looking pretty miraculous.
10 whole years with many more to come.

Two years old today. Time flashing past even more speedily than with our first. They laid you in my arms around 8:30 in the evening and I looked into those bright big eyes and cuddled your tiny little frame and couldn’t believe that we had been so blessed again. You were so beautiful looking around at the big world you had just been ushered into. A long labor but swift delivery and there you were. I could never have imagined that you would be so small and so alert and well lets face it, so grumpy. You could alternate between bliss and surliness at a rate that boggles the mind. I remember when we brought you home and daddy would sit in his office at night with you curled into his chest and I would catch a few hours sleep til your next feeding. You amazed us as much as your brother before. We are so proud to be your mom and dad and pray that we will raise you well and in the way you need to go. We love you little one. Happy Birthday Luke….

We watched a lot of shows on the Discovery Channel over Easter weekend on archaeological digs in Egypt. It was fascinating to see a blue print of the position of all those tombs in the Valley of the Kings and how they were so close to each other and how the tiniest ones contained the most highly prized treasure. The mastery of architecture and the paintings and wealth contained inside many were staggering. But I was struck by one show in particular hi-lighting a hidden tomb that by chance was stumbled on and contained 6 or 7 caskets that were in various forms of decay. The preparation for these treasures to lift them out and study them was amazing. They took combed cotton and tucked it carefully with tweezers inside all the cracks and then poured a solution on the cotton to harden it and strengthen the coffin for removal. It sometimes took weeks for this process to harden the boxes enough for safe removal. But the care they took not to disturb what was important was fascinating. Strangely I saw a lesson in this process that correlates to our lives as Christians.
We are all broken, mangled, and mouldy beings locked away in tombs of our own sin. Born that way in fact. Sometimes we get buried so deep and for so long we fear that no one will find us under the rocks and decay. And that even if we are found, we’ll be in such disrepair that noone will take the time to help clean us up and remove us. But for some, God guides the hands of saints to dig deep and find us. He shores up our cracks delicately so as not break us further and pours out His holy spirit to harden us for the journey. For some we are stronger in this process and on further study we reveal values that many will hold dear. But for most it is strength to renew us to get us to our destination. Our Heavenly home and eternity with a loving Father.
I feel often like that blackened casket that looked like it had been burned, drowned, shut up inside a deep rock, mouldered to near destruction, and forgotten. It hardly looked worth the time to try to save when it was finally found. But those great archaeologists dug for it, cleared the debris and other coffins around it , shored it up, removed it from the tomb and when it was safe to open, amazingly, found inside a great queen. A woman they would spend many years studying and researching. They devoured every piece of information they could find about her. There may not be a great queen hiding in this soul, but my Lord dug me out, healed my scars, strengthened me to move, and brought me gently out of the tomb that was killing me, and that, for me, is enough.

I have never had a more exhausting week than this past and been completely unable to call in reinforcements. John started us off with fever and puking on Sunday. Fred followed suit on Monday coming home in the middle of the day with the whole aches and chills deal. They were both worse on Tuesday adding red, blood shot eyes to the deal and cranking fevers up to 104 each. Wednesday was apparently my turn and Lukes to add to the hospice. Thursday I drug ourselves to the doctor. John had a cough, fever, and ear infection, I had cough, fever, sinus infection, and Fred had pneumonia. 200 bucks on copays and 8 prescriptions we drove home. Friday John was well enough to return to school but Fred and I were worse even with meds and Luke was getting worse as well. We were all kept well hydrated by friends and family who dropped liquids off and ran like the devil was chasin ‘em down. Saturday was the worst day by far. I was coughing up blood and my throat was so raw I could barely swallow and every cough brought on hysterical tears from the blinding pain. I had to go the pharmacy to pick up a script for Fred’s nebulizer and when I got home I realized they’d given me the wrong thing. I was exhausted and in pain, and had used every ounce of strength I had just to go up there. It was such a nightmare. Today is better. We’re all weak and I have some strange nausea going on. Fred and I both can’t taste anything but metal, but at least we feel more like human beings.
It’s funny, when you dream of being a wife and mother, nobody tells you that there are days and sometimes weeks when you are too sick to move or think, but you still have a job to do and you’re the only one who can do it. So to all you moms having weeks like mine, I salute you and say a little prayer that God will carry you through.