The Monkey Barrel

Archive for May, 2007

Pirates, the third installment totally rocked. The first time in a tremendously long time I was out way past my bedtime and the shocking realization that I am way older than the late crowd blindsided me. We sat in a theatre choc full of tweeny boppers and a handful of mature folk like ourselves. I should have felt sadly out of place and yet, I didn’t. I peered around at our younger generation and smiled remembering my own misbegotten youth. Instead of checkin young dudes out I look at them and imagine what my own boys will look like at their age and what the style trends will be, what new technology will hold them captive.
And then my mind turns to what their future will be and if they will be happy, but more importantly, will they be respected. Will they be the kind of men that others deffer to, that their peers will admire. Sometimes I am so consciously aware that I am raising men and husbands and fathers and then fear hits me that somehow I will fail them. I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got, and I just have to trust that God will handle the rest. I pray the lessons they must learn are not hard won and that their spirits are full of compassion and mercy and forgiveness, the latter most especially for each other. I hope they are the kind of boys that even people who meet them only once are struck by their impression. I hope they are close to each other and tightly bound in their brotherhood and can raise families that truly enjoy their time together. I hope that they can find and give love in great measure. I hope their road to the cross is much easier and swifter than mine. I guess this is what being a mother is about. Hope and prayer.

How can it be that in one meeting I am so completely wrapped up in love with one tiny little boy? He did not come from my womb and yet it feels as though he is a part of me and has always been. Walking past 2 and 3 pound preemies his 9 pounds is herculean and yet when I sat down and held him he still seemed so small, so fragile. Tubes and monitors tangled around him and a beeping alarm reminding me how much we take for granted our children will be born perfect and healthy. I was fine until it came time to say goodnight and looking into those dark eyes fixated on me, the tears came. Fear and love lumped into my throat. I tried to choke it back down so I wouldn’t upset his momma but the flood came anyway as I kissed his silken head and snuggled him close and handed him back.
The tests this morning are all clear so far and he will make his homecoming on Monday as long as they stay so. Prayer perpetually on my lips and hidden in my heart that all remains well and our sweet new arrival can come home in total health. Love you Jake.

May 9th, and hour and twenty minutes before Jake came to our world, Ally Elisabeth O’Leary was breathing her first breath in North Carolina. Weighing in at 8lbs. 11oz. and 20 in. long she is stealing hearts already. I do believe I will be getting a massive baby fix over the next few weeks. These arms were made for rockin, and that’s just what they’ll do. Welcome wee girl, I can’t wait to meet you too.

Birth day May 9th, at 9:29 weighing 9 pounds, Jake has come to join our brood. Soon to meet this wee man child, and shake the giant hands I see flailing in his pictures. Hours old and he is wrapped around my heart as though he had always been there. Family blood twining us, boundless love pouring through our souls. Welcome small one, I can’t wait to hold you.