The Monkey Barrel

We’ve had a lot of difficulty of late with the boys arguing and talking nasty to each other. Luke can be a pest and John is short of temper and there’s just been a lot of snapping even toward Fred and I. So I was talking to the boys about it and explaining to them the importance of being a servant to each other and putting each others needs and wants before their own but not having much luck getting my point across. I hate to lecture ad-nauseum and try to find good object lessons to drive the idea home. It usually involves an analogy that has to do with bodily functions. They’re boys, you have to speak their language, and gas and laughter are generally it. But this time, it just wasn’t cutting the cheese, so to speak.
But I think I’ve hit upon genius if I do say so myself. Last night I sat down with both of them and made lists. Each of the boys had to come up with 10 ideas of something really nice they could do for their brother. Lemme tell you that part alone nearly made me wanna give up the idea. I never thought they would find that so hard. So with a few promptings from daddy about what they would like someone to do for them, we turned it around into something they could do for each other. After about a half an hour we had 20 great ideas. I took each paper and cut out each idea and folded it up and put them all into a jar.
I sat them down again and told them that from now on, when they talk ugly to each other, or are unkind to one another, they will go to the jar and pick out a piece of paper and whatever it says they will do for their brother. The ideas range from putting away each others laundry, to letting someone go first in everything all day, and buying a gift with their own money at the dollar store. Each time they have to go the jar and execute one of the deeds, the deed will be followed by a sincere apology to the offended party.
My hope is that the jar won’t have to be used as punishment for long and that they will come up with other ideas on their own to add to it and that each idea will become a habit and way of life for them in how they treat not only themselves but others around them. They really do get along most of the time and Fred and I often marvel at how much they enjoy and love each other without much of a thought to it. But we want always to encourage them to put other peoples needs before their own and most especially their brothers. I’ll keep you posted on the results of this experiment.